Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Health Club HELL!!!

Alright! I recently relocated to New Jersey. Having relocated to several different locations within the past 10 years, I've gotten moving down to a science. When you relocate there is locating the new home, changing over driver's license, registering your car, forwarding your mail, finding a doctor, finding a dentist, finding the right hair salon and the important one finding a new gym. Finding a good gym should be easy. Throughout my various relos, I have been a member of Crunch, Gold's Gym, 24 Hr Fitness, World Gym, Stacked, Hyde Street Gym and each time I have gone through the living hell of the Fitness Trainer or I should call him by his real title SALESMAN!
I have been made to carry a 5lb weight around the gym, while the 'trainer' shows me the faciliaties. After which, he takes the 5lb weight back making the claim, "Doesn't it feel good to drop 5lbs?" OR I get the wonderful 30 minute 'flip book' presentation of what the gym has to offer. And the price structure is so confusing that it takes a roadmap for the trainer to show me ALL the different "roads to fitness". BUT WAIT!!! just when you thought you knew what you were signing up for, the trainer...oops, salesman has a DEAL for you. He'll waive the initiation fee or reduce it in half. WHAT a nice guy he is?!? And for MY convenience, they will set me up for an automatic withdrawal from my checking account or bill my credit card. Basically, the gym now has access to my bank account. But what if I don't want automatic withdrawal? sorry, you have to given them a credit card anyway so that you won't skip a payment.
Work Out World in New Jersey claims to be making Jersey Stronger. I decided that I have had enough of the hard sale tactics and decided to go out to their website. I liked their website very much. And guess what, there was a place where I could sign up ONLINE??? Awesome, I don't have to waste my time with a 20 year old college reject presenting a 2 hour sales pitch so that I can simply lift weights and shower. When I clicked on that tab, cause I was thinking they have an immediate sale because of this feature alone; it tells me that THAT option isn't functioning yet and I have to call the gym. ARGHHH!!! Can you feel my blood pressure rise? Ok, I will call the gym and get ALL of the information upfront. George, the fitness trainer/salesman, basically tells me that he cannot share prices over the phone and if I'd like to come into the gym he'd be more than happy to show me around. What the fuck? The poor unfortunate soul began to get the wrath of the pornpaparazzi. I told him, IF he wants the sale and I assured him that if he was upfront and honest with THIS consumer, he'd have a sale by the end of our call. With vigor and anticipation, he spills the basic price. My sigh of relief echoed across New Jersey. But it was short lived. I still had to into the gym to sign up. When I got there, George forgot to mention the annual renewal fee and the gym maintenance fee. I looked at him in the eye, thanked him for his time and walked out of the gym without purchasing a membership; then went to the nearest sport store and purchased my own set of weights.